Homesick and Tired in Taiwan

Well hello again Maniacs :)
Allow me to completely ignore the fact that I have neglected my blog for almost three months and continue with the topic at hand.

I am currently in somewhat of an utter exhaustion from all the last several months of traveling. I've been doing the travel thing, then the living in thailand thing, now I'm back on the Travel thing but in Taiwan. mostly because it's far more expensive here and I'd rather save my money for the next months in Thailand where I'm going to spend a month in phuket with my boyfriend [oh yeah, that happened too] and for the raw till 4 thai fruit fest I'm considering going to. I've been couchsurfing non-stop for 20 days straight and boy that takes wayyyyy too much from me.

I've been through so much in so little time and I barely had time to process any of it. I've been dealing with some issues of taking up space and handling rejection and the feeling of being unwelcomed, whether it was true or not, and some "saying no" to men issues as well. I just feel like all I want now is to be alone and get some rest. My body is going mad, weird pain in my leg, stomach ache, early period, lack of appetite, complete change of diet [of course still vegan, veganism is not a diet its a way of life and the number one principle that I live by] and some more weird shit. I think my body is "gently" shouting at me to take a massive break from whatever it is i'm doing.

Lately I feel more homesick as well. I picture my family and coming back home and how that moment would be like, and that always brings tears to my eyes. I imagine having some of my moms awesome food, and sleeping in my own bed with my cow teddy bear and driving my beloved car to the city and go to all the places I love with my amazing friends I left behind. I think about more business opportunities for me in israel but at the same time I feel that I'm just trying to create a narrative that would support my going back home. In reality I'm well aware that Israel has very little to offer me and my progress in whatever field I'm considering. At least at the moment.

I reckon once my body will relax from all the shit I've been through, and I'll be more settled down, I will reenergize again and be more excited about my future, but at the moment all I can think of is having some warm comforting food in bed and watching something that would make my brain go back in the human evolution. I'm still debating between jeresey shore or the valleys, which one is more stupefying?

Let me know what you think.
Love,
Henya

1 Month Into Traveling in Thailand - A Rollercoaster of Emotions

I was planning to blog so much more, and I even have a couple of posts from Bangkok and Chiang Mai describing shit I done and felt, but it just wasn't something I felt right about publishing.

Even the food pics I take here I feel that by posting them I let off the wrong impression of thailand as the fruits in israel taste so much better. And moreover, I didn't feel like writing anything or be involved with anything online cause to be frank? I felt like shit more than half the time. I was planning to vlog as well, most of the time at least, and I didn't have the energy to do so. That made me feel disappointed in myself. I came here to thailand to explore and a big part of my plan was to get my youtube and blog into a more settled routine. That did not happen and when I noticed I was beating myself up for not doing so, it made me feel worse. So I just accepted that fact and went on.

 

I wanna start in bangkok but lets just go backwards from now. I am now in Pai. Sitting in the kitchen of my guesthouse. A kinda hippie and indian vibe is going around me, and I don't really connect to it, but I feel that that's much better than feeling unrelated to a bunch of seriously happy people being excited about every thing that goes around them and just seek approval from others while not approving of anyone themselves. So even though I don't smoke or drink I actually feel more connected to the people here. I got here 2 days ago, after 2 weeks in Chiang Mai. 

 

The ride to Pai was horrible. No other way too put it. Its the most curviest rode I've ever witnessed and it took 4 fucking hours. I was mainly afraid of the motion sickness people claim to have on the way here, as you know I have a massive fear of vomiting, and I was delaying going to Pai for that reason only. I was scared I would feel bad during the ride and of course from others feeling bad during the ride. I decided to come here quite spontaneously after debating going to Koh Pangan in the most expensive time of the year. When the taxi arrived to pick me up I immediately knew I'm gonna have problems with the Chinese girl that was already in the cab. She looked in so much pain, I knew shes gonna get carsick. I was constantly looking out for her, if anything happens or if she feels worse, and it happened quite fast.

She vomited into a bag not even halfway, and I was panicking. The fact that I couldn't run away from this thing happening in front of me was excruciating. I was trying to relax and tell myself that this is not about me, it cannot hurt me, and that I am perfectly fine. I gave her an anti vomiting pill, and by the second time she threw up I was almost ok with it, mainly because it was outside the van, and because I accepted the fact  that I'm panicking and that that's ok. Generally, just accepting whatever is going on around me makes things a lot easier. But that very hard to do when you're a control freak. 

So we made it to Pai alive and I found this nice guesthouse, I rented a bungalow, and went to explore around a bit. Pai is beautiful. as all of Thailand, the nature here is overwhelming, and all that shit, but to be frank, I felt so depressed yesterday, I was seriously lying in bed for several hours, not wanting to get up at all. It really came down to the fact that I realized I was not gonna be happy anywhere unless I am genuinely happy within myself.

 

Cause I kept on going from place to place, thinking that the problem was in the place and not with me, maybe it was just the heat in Bangkok, or the shitty fruits, or the fact  that I was sick, or staying too long in Chiang Mai, or maybe I just need to go to Taiwan and everything will be better than. But thats all a bunch of bullshit isn't it? but its very hard to grasp when you're feeling like hell and feeling that amazing gap between what you thought will be and facing reality is much different.

Being a borderline personality I usually suffer from big expectations that lead to a huge disappointment when those aren't met. And when you travel, everything is so much more intense. Senses are heightened, everything is in large scale. when you feel bad its terrible and when you feel good its fucking amazing. I think that it all went downhill since Bangkok. 

2 major things happened. I was sick, and I was sticking to one person for too long. It made me feel out of control and unable to take care of myself. I was literally shitting myself all day and I was miserable. At the same time I was spending too much time with the same person, and I just needed some time for myself to recuperate and get my shit together. Literally. When I separated from the dude I felt better but then I was still sick and I couldn't get over it, nothing I did made it better and I was trying to have fun anyway, do stuff and explore but in the end I was miserable. 

On my last day in bkk I was so depressed I was just lying on my couchsurfing hosts carpet and just crying and cursing Thailand and just wishing things were different. It was a mixture of things. My sick stomach, a sting I got from an unknown something that made me freak, and getting electrocuted. That minute I decided on taking a night bus to chiang mai. As if the problem was with bangkok....

 

When I got to chiang mai I felt like I was home. Trees, great weather, I could actually see the sun, less pollution, and much more fruits. But then I had a coconut at a restaurant, and the waitress started throwing up in the kitchen. The despair I felt was incredible. It just blew up my illusion that it was location dependent. I was exhausted from panicking, cause needless to say my panic attacks sky rocketed since I started traveling., so I just accepted my fate, and went to sleep it off. After a night in the crazy night bus it was certainly needed. 

In Chiang Mai I did some couchsurfing at a nice expat from Ireland, and then I slept a Joe's from best transformation big fruity house for a few days. It was a nice experience living with so many fruit bats, but I was thinking about renting a place there until the fruit winter festival, and just the thought of staying in one place for so long made me so depressed I couldn't function.

 

Since then I switched a couple of places, got tired from Chiang Mai and then fell in-love with it all over again, and decided on going to Pai. Even though I'm still not my best physically and mentally, I accept it completely and I am trying my best to be on the move, take care of myself and trust my instincts. I am very proud of myself and my decisions and I will continue to do my own thing :)

Peace

Henya

 

What's in my minimalist backpack, what to bring to a flight as a hclf vegan and more

Hello Maniacs!

Here are a few videos I did on what I'm taking with me as a minimalist for a long term travel experience in asia!
I made a review of my backpack - The Osprey Tempest 40, and showed everything I packed with me here.

In this other video I show you a more detailed version of what's in my minimalist backpack.

Also for us HCLF, raw till 4 vegans I made a video of what to bring to a long flight to not end up starving in a metal box flying in the air in between countries.

so make sure you watch the videos and I'll be coming up with new videos asap.

Peace,

Henya

Minimalist Traveling In Israel

Well hello there Maniacs!

It's about the time I'm almost done with my exams and I have more free time to do my thing, so I though I might as well use it wisely and take a few days to go up to northern Israel and see our beautiful country...

I just came back from 3 days in Golan heights, followed by another unplanned 1 day in tlv and 3 days in dor beach. I wanted to go as minimalistic as I can, to see how I manage and as a small preparation to my trip to Thailand and other frutilicious tropical heavenly countries :)

Since I heard the term minimalism, I got hooked on the idea. I started getting rid of shit clothes I was hoarding for years and other things, but I kept on buying more shit I didnt need nor use, and I still had immense amounts of clutter all over my house, car and life. In the last few months I started to really take my minimalist journey to the next level and really get rid of things I didnt need. I sold so many things and even had a “garage” roof sale with my friends. I will write about it in the future, so stay tuned if you're interested. Anyway, I decluttered my house quite a bit, and really started to take into consideration what I need in life and I would definitely want to experiment with that when I go traveling in asia in the next months. I though I would see how it goes in the trip to the north as well.

Whats in my bag?

1 long leggings

1vegan shorts

2 tanks

4 pairs of undies

1 long hoodie [should've brought something warmer]

flip flops

minimalistic running shoes for hiking

phone

charger

credit card, Bus card and id

some cash [but no wallet! So proud of myself cause I usually go about with a big ass wallet]

key [only the one to my house]

mp3 player

ear plugs

toothbrush

baking soda [to use as shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. Didn't use it once!]

box of dates and 2.5 kg of peaches.

1.5 liter water bottle

Well, at the first few days I didn’t really mind not changing clothes, and I even washed 1 pair of panties in the shower, but I had worn one tank in a hike an as I was gathering prickly pear or whatever name your country calls this exquisite fruit, I had all the spikes fly with the wind straight to my face, neck and shirt. So I wasn’t wearing it ever since and didn’t even think of washing it with all the spikes stinging me on the way :| so turns out I wore the other tank for a long time and I got really tired of it when I came back o tlv and was about to head out to dor beach. I almost borrowed a friends shirt but at the end I gave up cause I already have too many things and I just starting to give a fuck.

Seriously, when I was out and about, having fun, out in nature and with friends, I really couldn’t care less how I looked. At the beach I wore just a sports bra and panties, and some of the time I was topless, and I was just fine. People didn’t even notice I wasnt wearing a “proper” bathing suite, and if they did? I don’t care. I'm not here to entertain anyone or to look good for someone else.

But enough about material objects. I had a really good time all in all. I was really surprised that the north was this big and beautiful, and had so much nature going around! Just driving through the area you'd see fig trees and prickly pears, and the occasional spring here and there..

but besides that, it was a good experience for me to trust the world and the people and nature in general, to provide me with food, and a place to sleep. Though it didn't really help with saving the battery in my phone...

I have to admit I was a little scared before going, as I didnt know if I took enough things, and I was especially worried about the food. I didn't know where I could get good fruits [as I am doing the raw till 4 lifestyle now], and because the fruit quality these days is so low and not satisfying, and I'm used to knowing what I'm eating and where I'm buying it and how ripe it is. But up north, I managed quite good.

As I got there we went to a supermarket to but some food. The fruit was as expected inedible, so I bought pasta and some pasteurized orange juice. The day after we went to an apple plantation, and picked some nice apples. There was also a plum, grapes and nectarines plantation so I picked some more :) after that we went for a hike in Gilabon wadi, where we saw some more food, and after that we found a big ass fig tree I took the liberty to strip down of edible fruits :)

The day after I wasn't feeling all too well, I was really tired and exhausted, and I rested the whole day. When it was evening I started getting bored and wanted to do something, but I also started feeling choked and cramped up in a far out location and I really wanted to get the hell out. I was staying at a place with only 2 buses a day, and within seconds I made up my mind to pack my shit, get out and look for a bus station, when the bust was about to arrive In ten minutes. Sounds silly and impulsive, but that simple act really helped me feel in control and gain back my self confidence.

Sadly, or not sadly but very tiring, it took me about 6 hours to get to tel aviv, when I was headed for jerusalem. I missed the last bus and I was starving by the time I got to tel aviv. That's the problem with this lifestyle, when you are undercarbed, you start being miserable. I was thinking about food the whole way back! I bought some stir fried rice with no oil and salt in tlv and stayed at a friends house. It is pretty amazing eh? That you could just hop from one place to another, and get by so easily in this world. It was really great to let go of my frick-controlish-part for a bit, and just rely on things to be ok.

After I stayed the night in tlv I was supposed to go back to jlm and pack my bathing suit, get more fruits, a sleeping bag, change my stinkin' clothes and go back to tlv and head out to Dor beach from there, but then I was like... do I really need all this hassle just for a stinking bathing suite? Change of clothes? I can just borrow a sleeping bag from a friend and but fruits anywhere! And I wouldn’t need to carry them all the way from jlm.. besides, if I really wanted to, I could just buy a new swim suite and it would cost me less time and money than going back and forth.. that really put things into perspective. I had a great time in tlv with Ggali my eternal love! And I also arranged to meet a fellow rawtill4-er, Ginat the fruitbat!

After this hot and amazing day in tlv, I went with Ron, a friend I met over at Midburn, to dor beach for a big ass camping thing his friends family organizes every year! It was really amazing to camp out on the beach and chill and do nothing. We arrived at night, and I was soooo tired already, we stayed for a bit in the bonfire and then I went to sleep. The day after I was just chilling, eating fruits, tanning topless, hooping, and on the next day, I did much of the same but started to get to know the people around me better, and feel more comfortable. I also took a long walk on the beach hoping to find new adventures, and even though I didn't meet lots of interesting new people, I did get to a nice little camp that played music and I did my own party on the rocks and danced myself away with the waves..

I guess there's no way around it. It takes me a while to feel comfortable around people and I do get a bit anxious in social situations. That's why I prefer to be by myself and fend for myself whenever necessary. I'm afraid of being judged in a certain way and I try to read the atmosphere a bit before I open up .I probably come up as a shy and quiet person or maybe even an antisocial lone wolf sometimes. I have it a lot easier on one-on-ones.

I was even more worried about the food before we went to the beach. I didnt have a clue what food they're going to have over there, if they'd have any fruits, but since I was already relying on the world for a few days already, I just let it be. Right before we took off I bought some grapes and nectarines, baby corn and dates, and I did finish up all my food before we headed back home, so I ended up eating some bread with tahini. After I got home I was still out of food so I had some rice cakes with tahini and a few veggies. I felt ok when having it, but this morning I woke up with a fever and with pain all over my body. It could be the food but I have a feeling it's that massive sunburn I got that's fucking me up.

I'm happy I got out of my comfort zone and started to experience new things, and I'm grateful not to have my studies in the way all the time. Can't wait to be really over with it.

This little trip really got me interested in living in a moshav or kibbutz for a bit, and I made up my mind to go on a gathering trip again next week, where you walk around in a group for 5 days an eat only what you forage. I was at a foraging trip a few months back, but I feel like this time I could have a better experience.

To sum it up, I had a blast. But it is good to be home, take a nice NOT hot shower for my aching skin, and have a change of clothes.