Monday, March 9, 2015

Homesick and Tired in Taiwan



Well hello again Maniacs :)
Allow me to completely ignore the fact that I have neglected my blog for almost three months and continue with the topic at hand.

I am currently in somewhat of an utter exhaustion from all the last several months of traveling. I've been doing the travel thing, then the living in thailand thing, now I'm back on the Travel thing but in Taiwan. mostly because it's far more expensive here and I'd rather save my money for the next months in Thailand where I'm going to spend a month in phuket with my boyfriend [oh yeah, that happened too] and for the raw till 4 thai fruit fest I'm considering going to. I've been couchsurfing non-stop for 20 days straight and boy that takes wayyyyy too much from me.

I've been through so much in so little time and I barely had time to process any of it. I've been dealing with some issues of taking up space and handling rejection and the feeling of being unwelcomed, whether it was true or not, and some "saying no" to men issues as well. I just feel like all I want now is to be alone and get some rest. My body is going mad, weird pain in my leg, stomach ache, early period, lack of appetite, complete change of diet [of course still vegan, veganism is not a diet its a way of life and the number one principle that I live by] and some more weird shit. I think my body is "gently" shouting at me to take a massive break from whatever it is i'm doing.

Lately I feel more homesick as well. I picture my family and coming back home and how that moment would be like, and that always brings tears to my eyes. I imagine having some of my moms awesome food, and sleeping in my own bed with my cow teddy bear and driving my beloved car to the city and go to all the places I love with my amazing friends I left behind. I think about more business opportunities for me in israel but at the same time I feel that I'm just trying to create a narrative that would support my going back home. In reality I'm well aware that Israel has very little to offer me and my progress in whatever field I'm considering. At least at the moment.

I reckon once my body will relax from all the shit I've been through, and I'll be more settled down, I will reenergize again and be more excited about my future, but at the moment all I can think of is having some warm comforting food in bed and watching something that would make my brain go back in the human evolution. I'm still debating between jeresey shore or the valleys, which one is more stupefying?

Let me know what you think.
Love,
Henya




























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